The Worst Person In The World Is A Movie
Spoilers and rants ahead, no subtitles
I’m a filmmaker — hey, let me pitch you a film!
It will go on to great critical success and win best actress at Cannes!!
I will call it “The Worst Person in the World.”
First of all, you must know that I am a man in my forties and as such I am very equipped to write a nuanced female character just turning thirty because I understand young women. No, I won’t bring any biases into my storyline based on my prior romantic relationships!
Okay, so this film is about very tall and beautiful Julie in Oslo with maybe 12% body fat who is smart enough to get into medical school but dumb enough to not realize that eww bodies?? But she knows brains are cool! She decides to transfer into the field of psychology but then discovers this machine called a “camera” (you don’t get to see those until you’re twenty-nine) and immediately takes approximately two photos of a skinhead and starts making out with him (the point of doing art is to meet guys).
But then she ditches him at the bar for a scrawny rodent man with an even more unattractive personality who can’t stop talking about how he’s 44 — I AM SO OLD!! he insists, AND I NEED TO HAVE KIDS NOW!!! — but shacks up with someone fifteen years younger because obviously he can…
