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Babe, Recycle Your Buccal Fat!
Do you believe in climate change and want to get hot?
We all know the open secret that is celebrities like Lea Michele of “Glee” and “Funny Girl” on Broadway getting a grape-sized pad of cheek fat —buccal, pronounced buckle — removed so the carpet can match the drapes when it comes to face-body emaciation. Why only be skinny downstairs when your upstairs can also look starved for attention?
The tragedy, though, is that these entertainers and celebutantes are failing to take a key page out of the Gwyneth Paltrow school of reuse by recycling their own body. Do you want to be a good environmentalist and also glow up? That placenta is not going to eat itself, and neither are your skull Skims.
Maybe you recall a time when you used to suck on your own cheeks out of nervous adolescent angst or for lack of a Twizzler. Why not go all the way? Adulting like the nepo babies we love to hate means actually finishing what you started. Want to slay? Be able to say you ate.
Think about it this way: shearing your chipmunk pouches can be the ultimate meal prep. Isn’t the dietary recommendation by Instagram models to consume no more than a thumb-sized pat of butter or oil at a meal? Perfect. Let the plastic surgeon be your measuring spoon.
